The other side
I wrote this entry months ago when the climate of this world was TENSE. It’s still tense, but it was more tense. Anywho, I haven’t had the guts to post it, but I guess that’s the whole point of what I wrote, so I’m gonna eat my own words and post it. Here are some of Kristin’s many thoughts…
We generally live in a space that craves comfort, avoids inconvenience and dislikes discomfort. I get it, who wants to feel uncomfortable…
But, what if we took a peek at the other side…
What if we pulled a Brene Brown, if you will, and leaned into the discomfort? What if we saw all the redirects of inconvenience as guides and decisions we don’t have to make; what if we craved the self awareness that discomfort enlightens; what if comfort was a little vacation spot we got to take before jumping back in for the learning and growing? What if learning and growing were celebrated like so many other life milestones?
Writing this entry from the other side of a rough week.
I 100% believe discomfort is where we figure out who we are. When we have to think and feel, we figure out what we like, what we don’t like, and how we feel about what we like and what we don’t like; we figure out what we want, what we don’t want and how we feel about what we want and don’t want; we figure out if we’re fighters or freezers or anything in between and what the hell that tells us about ourselves. We ultimately get an opportunity to observe discomfort’s origin, like a displeasure map, and then we can finally let it go. It’s like once you see it, it might not go completely away, but, like any other scary thing, it’s much more efficiently managed in the light.
If we don’t listen to discomfort, I truly believe we will ultimately have to listen to fear.
If you have fear, (which, if you’re living, ya just do), and have not healed it or are not working to heal it, it will very likely impact those around you. It simply cannot be contained! Fear is a f***ing force and, unfortunately, it comes for us and those we love in our most vulnerable moments.
But here’s a question…
Do we even know what we’re afraid of??
*** grand hand gesture: Enter, healing. ***
Fear is not just the big bad monster coming for ya; the most dangerous fears, I think, are simply of being alone, or losing perceived control, or losing real control, or saying the wrong thing, or being rejected, or being laughed at, or being dismissed, or being perceived as “mean,” or being judged, or feeling powerless or just, (the word of honor), feeling discomfort.
Learning ourselves, loving ourselves, and healing ourselves is both the most selfish and selfless thing we can do in this lifetime.
For YEARS I’ve existed in fear, to the point that it was debilitating and I simply had to work on healing so I could function. It took a bit to find gratitude, but I am now so grateful to be able to identify fear in myself and coordinate self talks with me, myself and I to determine the legitimacy of said fear. Are the fears still mostly a bit crazy? Sure, but looking at it and seeing it as a feeling I’m feeling, rather than a statement of who I am certainly makes it easier to befriend.
Acceptance is the only way I’ve found to get rid of discomfort and fear; facing it, and saying “ok, you’re here, what now,” allows it to achieve what it seems to have wanted, to be seen and heard.
We’re all hurting from something and we all have something to heal: We all 100% deserve that healing.
Just a lil love in the sunset :)
I seem to be rambling on now, but what I hope for us as people is that we begin to identify that we are scared. Not even necessarily identify what we’re afraid of, just simply that it exists in us.
It’s everywhere; it’s in perfectionism, it’s in racism, it’s in sexism, it’s in all the -ism’s I’m sure, it’s in questioning people’s rights, it’s in politics, it’s in religion, it’s in the police, it’s at work, it’s in schools, it’s in families, it’s in friendships, it’s in relationships, it’s in you, and it’s in me.
The awesome thing is that where there’s fear, there’s also love. They’re two sides of the same coin, love and fear, so if fear is everywhere, love is also everywhere.
At the root of all fear is the need for love and understanding. Fear wants to be seen and heard and ultimately accepted; what’s better to see and hear and accept, than love?
Next time someone fires up a fear or adds discomfort, I hope we can pull a Brene Brown and lean in, take a beat, and observe what it’s trying to teach us. Discomfort can heal us if we let it.