Waves
I feel like a tsunami of manifestation is about to hit and I’m genuinely a little nervous. I’m also the entire cause of the ripples that brought this wave on and I’m still like, DUDE what did you DO??
We are SO powerful. Like, mind-blowingly.
I dream incessantly about where I want to go, but I equally have such a big dream for you too. So much of this believing-in-myself experiment has been to explore the how-to’s for making our own tsunamis of manifestation; we deserve all the things!
I’m starting to see how abundance lives in the present, but only when we believe in it. Like truly, with every fiber of our being believe in it.
The first night of the van phase of this journey; this girl had no idea what was comin…
Last weekend, I had 3 selling opportunities; each was abundant in it’s own way and I couldn’t unsee where this all could go. I realized what I needed to do organization-wise to be prepared for abundance (really, just get some basic organization…) and I realized when you’re seen while doing what you love, it hits different.
No matter where I end up from here, I can never go back to a life where I never experienced this. When I was quitting my career (speech therapy), I found a safety net in telling myself “you can always go back.” The known will still be there, the job will still be there, the same old stresses will still be there, and I inadvertently assumed the same insecurities will still be there.
I had no idea how wrong I was; I can never actually go back because I (shockingly), did the thing I set out to do, I changed.
I recently took on a short-term part-time virtual speech contract to help make some ends meet. Did it feel like I was selling my soul a little bit? Yes. Did it feel like a failure? Certainly. Was it exactly what I needed? Absolutely.
I needed to see that what I was doing before was not the stress, it was who I was in that stress, and in turn, what I allowed as that person. I needed to reflect on the tools I have at my disposal and reframe their role in my life. Will I continue with speech? Never in the way I did before, but I needed to see that who I am and what I do are two very different things and that the me I'‘m becoming, the me I’m healing, is a person I trust to get me where I want to go. I needed to see that I’ve got me no matter what I’m doing and that insecurity no longer has a seat at my decision making table. Does she try to get in the room still? Sure, but I’m learning she’s squeezing her way in less and less.
That’s an absolute game changer! Turns out writing and sharing thousands of happy thoughts in a year really does change your brain...
So, where do I want to go?
Turns out that changes all the time… I’m learning that’s the only way for abundance to find me though; the biggest dream I have right now will evolve and become more abundant if I leave space for it to do so. My brain is not used to thinking I can have anything I want; this universe will provide all the tools I need once I reach out my hand like a trusty mechanic tinkering away expecting what’s needed to arrive on time. I 100% believe abundance is happening now, it consists of inherent growth, and it’s ours if we believe we can hold it.