Reflections

I kinda preach vulnerability with this business and sometimes I feel like I don’t really share the hard parts of it all. Perhaps I do, and this is just an urge I’m having to overshare in an insecure moment, or I’m simply having an urge to share and ‘oversharing’ is the insecure terminology; what I know is that I don’t know, I think a lot, I feel vulnerable, and I wanna say things.

I have drifted pretty far from my old reality; I’m kinda just floatin’ here in space holding a shit ton of happy thoughts and ponchos looking at them like “how the hell did we get here??”

I am manifesting things that had never entered my mind before. That awareness is really flooring me.

The me a year ago could not have imagined any of this, but she also created this. A year ago, I abruptly realized I had to move and was frantically contemplating how I could possibly find a place to live in my current state, (a chosen freefall without a paycheck); would I have to leave San Diego? would I lose my people? would I lose my home? would lose my space? would I lose my cats?

The short answer is yes,

and no;

literally both.

I’m learning this life is always both; loss creates space that will inevitably be filled. It’s crazy what can show up when there’s room.

Just a Tuesday morning adventure.

It’s weird living in the space that dreams made, dreams that couldn’t see where they were going, it kinda feels irresponsible! It’s crazy how far from my old life I am; it’s like that moment on the rollercoaster where you look down and are like, ‘oh shit, we’re really movin’…’ I want to dream right now, I want to think up all the crazy shit that can happen, but I’m overwhelmed; Dreams work! I feel as if there’s a right way to dream, like I could mess it up somehow…

There is nothing in this world that can take what is meant for you. - Unknown

Then I find a happy thought to remind me that’s so silly!

I can’t mess it up; you can’t mess it up.

Nothing can take what is meant for me and I have enough time. Nothing can take what is meant for you and you have enough time!

Stay tuned, I’m gonna dream up some crazy outlandish things, I hope you are too :)